Here is something that many people who need me in their organization say to me. The leaders I follow, however, would never make this mistake!

Some mistakes you just shouldn’t make especially if you’re with someone else.

There is one thing that will turn someone OFF completely to you. And if you ever do it, you should not even stop for a second and think why they turned you down.

The most horrible thing you could say to someone who would be a good leader in your business…

The most despicable thing you could say…

The dumbest thing you could say…

The most ridiculous thing you could say…

The most pathetic, self absorbed, demonstration of weakness you could possibly put in front of someone are these magical words.

If you have ever said to someone, “You would be so good in my business!” you shot yourself in the foot when you had a great prospect in front of you!

Why these magical words simply kill a prospects desire to work with you.

These words speak clearly from  your selfish desire to get THEM working to make YOU money. It is very subtle but people clue in on it very clearly and are skeptical of you but they are not entirely sure why. They think you’re kind of shady but they just can’t put their finger on it. This happens because they KNOW you don’t really have their best interest at heart. You are looking for your own payday not theirs.

This is not very different than their boss right? Think about this for just a few moments…

If someone said these words to you would you just jump up and go “yeah I would do great working for you wouldn’t I! How much money can I give you so I can work for you?”.

This is simply ludicrous… and it betrays the one thing they are looking for, in fact it points them in the opposite direction.

Put yourself in shoes of the other person. What are they looking for?

They are looking for someone to lead them so THEY can make money, not another person who just wants to use them to make a buck!

In their eyes you’re not valuable because you’re not looking to help them. Think about the basics of human relationships and it becomes clear.

Why is a man attracted to a woman? Because she holds the potential to fulfill some void. (Perhaps it is the need for a partner, perhaps it is for friendship, perhaps it is for security.)

Why do people spend time with other people? Because they get something out of it that is beneficial. (Perhaps it is friendship, perhaps it is education, perhaps it is just some good laughs.)

These basic interactions are the cornerstone to our relationships with others. If you present yourself in a way that says “I would like to take resources from you” people will run. Why? Because they have a finite amount of time, energy, and money so they are not interested in someone who can’t help them get more of these precious resources.

They do it because it is normal, and a form of self preservation. So you can’t “knock them” for wanting to filter who they spend time with. You can’t “knock them” because you appeared have only your own personal interests at heart not theirs.

Your perspective must be refreshing, but at the same time it must be firm.

To your prospect when they look at you and see that you can help them get to where they want to be and your actions demonstrate it, then they will move toward you.

But if you don’t offer anything other than hey “get in my downline and get me paid” why would they want to work with you? You appear to be no different than the vampires that suck the life out of them everyday at work.

How do  you offer this refreshing perspective. Here are my tips for it.

1. This part requires being firm. You have to be strong to pull this off. No matter what you can’t shoulder their burden.
   You can’t help someone who can’t see the forest for the trees. If they aren’t excited or willing to take initiative once you have told them what to do then don’t waste your time with them. Period.

   You can’t carry them as much as you might try to “help them”. I have seem many people crumble this way and a new sponsors dreams get stolen by someone who wanted that sponsor to carry their burden.

2. Offer support that doesn’t drain your personal resources. By creating content that will help your downline grow.
   Everything online has become very user friendly so there is simply no excuse for people to not be creating content that will help their downline on auto-pilot. When someone has a question point it out to everyone involved with you. They will use it as some point.

   Yes, you will need to help some of your team-members but we’ll get into exactly who those people are in a moment. For now understand that you must be strong enough to create content in order to answer your teams questions and help them grow.

3. Work closely with those who deserve your time, NOT those who need it.
   Weak, overly needy people, get very offended when I say this.

   But the reality is you don’t have enough time in the day to do every little thing for your downline. Yes, you need to lead them but they also need to bring something to the table too! You’re not here to carry them. You’re here to guide them. There is a big difference if you think about it closely.
   
   Here is an example: If your downline needs help with adwords, you don’t spend a day working with an individual. You create a video that helps them understand the answer to their question (Hint: This is where I get most of my blog posts from).

   If that isn’t enough you point them to a resource that is done professionally. One that you have personally used and trust. Hopefully one you will get a commission on also.

   In this way everyone wins. Your downline gets the information they need without bleeding your time. You have some additional content that will help new subscribers, members, and downline. It also, builds some credibility and Page Rank online.

   And, the people who really need more help get it but only if they earn it, which means they will respect it more. Especially if they have to work to earn the money to buy it.

So who are the people you should focus on?

Anyone who needs a lot of your time often is not likely to be a good leader. However, if you point them in a direction and in a short period of time then they follow your instruction this is someone you should spend time with. They prove that they are teachable which means they will likely have success. They are a diamond in the rough. You will meet a few of these.

Does this mean you don’t take care of your downline? Absolutely not… it just means you do it in smart ways that will help everyone. If you’re helping one then others will have the same question be sure you can answer it for them too without reinventing the wheel.

When someone proves that they are willing to do work, you should focus on them. Not the other way around. If you focus on people who always have an excuse or never seem to get the tasks done that need to be done then you’re doomed and so are they because your business will drown along with theirs.

The people that you really want to focus on:

1. If they are excited! (Even when you first talk to them on the phone, it is obvious when you see this. People without passion tend to move slow if ever.)
2. If they are doing what they are told to do. (Especially if the task is hard, means stretching to buy something that will help their business, or doing something they don’t want to do.)
3. If they are engaged with the program. (You can tell this when you talk to them and ask them about things you should both have in common like training materials or business rules and codes of conduct. If they are learning about the business, even the boring stuff, every way they can then they earn credibility in my book.)
4. If they are stretching and growing to step up to the plate and deliver. (Many people have many reasons for doing things… most are in a situation that is not conducive to starting a business. When someone goes out on a limb to buy leads to work, or picks up training material, be sure to help them get the most out of it. Especially if you get a commission because that commission is your incentive to help them.)
5. If they are people who are taking the initiative to contact you for any reason. (If your downline is contacting you to ask questions pay close attention before you offer an answer.)

Why would you want to make others buy products, why not just give them your information?

There is something very interesting about this that is critical to understand. This is so critical that I would argue that you will fail unless you come to understand how important this is.

People who are not willing to buy are plainly takers. They come from a place of scarcity, not a place of abundance. They want everything for free (including your time). If you give into these people you are effectively shouldering their burden. They don’t want to spend money for training materials so you pay the price for them with your time. You can’t shoulder anyone else’s burden and expect to have success.

Without an abundance mentality they will fail miserably anyway so giving away your time, energy, or copies of things you purchased (effectively giving them your money) will only provide the ammunition they need to kill their business. It is best to weed these people out before ever letting them work with you. (Your marketing funnel should help you do this.)

This sounds very harsh but the math on this is simple.

You have 24 hours in a day. 8 of it you spend sleeping, 8 of it you spend working (less as your business grows if you have built it correctly). And this leaves 8 hours for your health, family, fitness, stress reduction, and necessities (brushing your teeth an showering for example).

If you spend 2 hours helping someone, that is great, but if your investment in that person doesn’t yield a leader you can never get that time back.

But you need to help others – So what is the answer?

If you help someone by spending hours with them be sure to get something out of it that you can use to share with your other team members. A video, blog post, article, or audio track.

Point people to trusted resources that will help them, AND you too. When you offer help to someone and, after giving it, they still need more… Point them to a resource that you have used, get a commission on, and trust.

In doing this you help them get what they need. You get compensated for your time with them. And, you force them to evaluate if they REALLY need the help (funny how so many “needs” are revealed as “nice to haves” when you ask someone to pay for it).

Doing this trains others to think before they attempt to bring something trivial to you.

Additionally you do something that makes the information they get worth taking seriously because it isn’t “free” and they won’t disregard it. Free information for the most part is garbage in the eyes of most. It could be golden (like my blog, hehe) but because it was free, it is unearned. And, anything unearned is easily disregarded.

If the prospect isn’t earning it they won’t respect it. It is that simple. You must offer help first to help keep the task from seeming too daunting. Because people will paralyze themselves with fear if they feel overwhelmed. When that isn’t enough point them to a resource.

I think this is my longest blog post yet… but it is so critically important that you “Get This” because success cannot be had unless you master these concepts.

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